Why talking to a therapist is hard

Sometimes talking to a therapist is hard because they are able to get to the nitty gritty of your life and express what you need to hear for challenging self improvement. And then sometimes it's hard because they just don't "get it" and they say something really offensive. For me it was the latter. I've been seeing a sling of therapists over the past couple months and I haven't quite gelled with anyone on my care team. The current woman I'm seeing apparently has it out for single working females. I asked her to talk about parenting because I feel like it's my greatest struggle right now. I want to be cooler, calmer around my kids. Who doesn't? Instead of walking down that path and analyzing it with me, she took the road of being condescending and cold about the amount of time my kids spend at day care. It's just not an option to change that. And, more importantly, no one would ever say to a man the same thing. Right?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm trying to live within the realm of possibilities and I think that is right. I tried to coax her back by saying that I need to focus on what I can change in my life. Not once did this woman talk about anything in my emotional tool belt without lifting an eyebrow. Could I try deep breathing in the moment? Didn't matter. But, oh boy, when I told her I go to Zumba twice a week she gave a resounding, "WOW." It's amazing that I was able to do that with the schedule I have. So now I feel guilty for the 2 hours of self care that I get in each week. Thanks. a. lot.

Instead of listening to more shock and awe at the life of a single mom I asked her if she could recommend any books for me. Nothing. Nothing popped into her mind that would be helpful for me. How is that even possible? She said there are thousands of parenting books but she couldn't think of one for me because, wait for it, she thinks I need one written by a single mom. I told her I need one written by a parent of three kids or more because I can't resonate with suggestions for how to take care of one kid because it just doesn't cover the balance I struggle to find.

I wish there was more I could say, but it's not really my job to teach this lady how to do her job so I told her I'd like to end the session early so I could go get my kids before it was too late.


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