Make New Friends {Adult Edition}

I've been in a few positions where I needed to make new friends. I moved a couple times as a kid, I changed jobs, I became a stay-at-home mom, moved into new towns, and now I find myself in a new town again. I'm making acquaintances at church and work, but it wasn't enough. A lot of people know I was in a close-knit group of single moms back when I lived in Pennsylvania. They were my rocks through a very hard time and I still chime in from a distance since we're virtually connected.

How do I find friends as an adult? 

It's the age-old question. What makes two people click and carry on a friendship? Befriending one another as single moms is both easy and tremendously hard. I feel like once we meet, we can become fast friends, but it takes an act of God to get together in the first place. Multiple schedules need to align. It does happen though, and when it does it's really special. We are the ears that console one another and the eyes that see the light when it seems like all around there is darkness. We are also the ones who dig around the condescension. We know that being a single mom can be amazing in it's own way and having a man for happiness is no requirement. Plus, we understand that not being with someone doesn't make us hateful or unloving. It just is what it is and sometimes that's already enough.

Virtual Friends

Does that little friend counter on Facebook really matter? For me it does in some ways. I know I have a lot of friends that live in my palm, and I love that. I think it's awesome to be able to see how friends at a distance are doing. Sometimes it seems like I have a group of friends for everything - and they all serve a purpose. Sure, I post on my own page, but it's nice to be able to connect with others who have shared experiences. I have friends who are single moms. I have friends I can pray and learn with. I have friends who know the area and specific details about parenting in Annapolis. All these groups have a purpose and have helped me in ways that make me so grateful for having a face on the other side of a screen as opposed to just the google machine. 

Remembering Good Friends

I love to think back about my friends in Pennsylvania. Their kids are growing and life continues to bloom. I know it's not always roses and rainbows, but it is really beautiful as it unfolds over time. The thing I miss most about moving away is that I don't randomly see friends pop up at outings. I used to see people at the grocery store or at festivals. I also had regular get togethers because I had enough friends that we knew how to coordinate schedules with one another, but that took years to get into place. Now that I'm here, I'm getting ready for the long haul of getting used to one another's schedules.

The Future

You know, I always say that writing is therapeutic, and I really think it is. Simply writing this reminded me that I'm on the right path to making friends. I just need to invest the time and keep doing what I'm doing. I can also trust that I've been able to make friends in new settings in the past, and it never happened overnight. I think that knowing these things take time is helping me feel better already.


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