The Worst Question People Ask Me

pregnant mom


This is me pregnant*. I am not pregnant right now.

I'll admit I'm pretty meek these days, so it should come as no surprise that there is a question that bothers me. I've heard it three times in my life when it had no business being asked. Several ladies, mind you, have asked me if I was pregnant when there was no chance I was. Sometimes the question comes shortly after a birth and for that, it's understandable, but still harsh. Now the only thing I can attribute to their question is a food baby, or more precisely a med baby.

Being on medication puts me in a weird position when people ask if I'm pregnant. First of all my feelings are all off. I know that in the past when this has come up I've felt shocked or horrified. Now I just feel blah and blerg. And then I feel hungry and the self deprecating cycle continues. I don't even know if exercise works to counteract the weight gain because sometimes I feel too tired to wake up after working out and that's not going to help anybody.

But the topic at hand of asking women about pregnancy is just so taboo and cycled in public that I'm surprised it still comes up. Are people doing it to hurt me? I think that's too narcissistic. I started wondering if, perhaps, could we start saying, "are you a mom?" In the best case scenario, a pregnant woman would say, "Not yet, but I will be in 3 months!" This also lets women who aren't pregnant any more, but have loose tummies after giving birth a few times answer in the positive. If the woman at Office Depot picking up post cards for her hair business had asked me this, I would have told her about my daughters and how one is eagerly awaiting a visit from the tooth fairy. It wouldn't have bothered me at all. Instead, I kind of left with a meh feeling and a moderate uplift in my personal necessity to work out.

Can we just ask, "Are you a Mom?" 


There are other questions that have bugged me from time to time mostly because I've been embarrassed to answer them. As much as I'd like to be, I am not an open book. I've got to save the good stuff for my autobiography. A while ago a friend asked a group about the type of questions that hurt singly moms specifically. I feel like this is one because a lot of us struggle with our weight and even more of us struggle with the fact that our families may be complete even if we wanted more kids. Not that I (mom of three) specifically need more kids, but they would be delightful if they existed. In our group, we basically reassured her that she is a wonderful Mom and I'm sure they would do the same thing for me if I were to take this experience and share it. I think they'd also remind me that the reason I carry a few extra pounds is because I carried three awesome babies into this world and I lost the weight each time. It may be harder to lose with meds, but nothing is impossible.

*Photo credit Kealy Creative.

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