To Single Moms on Father's Day

Arguably the hardest day of the year for any single mom is Father's Day. It is a day to celebrate a person who may have broken our heart, let us down, or fallen into a role as mortal enemy. To say it affects us is an understatement. The impacts can radiate from a multitude of directions. The issues aren't merely related to how our exes have treated us or continue to promote conflict and strife within our lives, but in many cases our hearts break for our children who continue to be impacted and come under a magnifying glass every June. 

My kids are lucky. They have some amazing Father figures in their lives and they do have a relationship with their own Father. No one is perfect- far from it- so we've come to accept what they can and can't have as far as interactions go with the men in their lives. They know that they always have a safe place to come home if he misses a visitation, but that doesn't mean that my heart doesn't break for them in the midst of a last minute cancellation. 

Recently, their Dad missed a planned visit, so I quickly rearranged my weekend plans to have them. We went to the local YMCA, where they had a stack of Father's Day themed coloring pages lined up. I shrugged a little, trying not to role my eyes in front of them as I looked at the stack of accolades for Dads. I headed off to a Zumba class and returned afterwards to be presented gleefully with a page I did not expect at all (see above.) 

The thing I loved about it was that, in her mind, it wasn't even an attack on her Dad. She just wanted to make something for me because I was the person she was thinking about. I feel like that lesson my daughter showed me is something that many single moms can benefit from understanding. Our kids aren't missing out when Dad's not around - we are enough. Let me say that again.

To the single mamas: You are enough. 

I am so inspired and awed by the Single Moms in my tribe. These women support their children in everything and give everything to raise them. I never doubt this, because I do it, too. You would if you were in our position. There is no question that it must be done. Even though our kids complain and whine and maybe misbehave- that's all par for the course. They might have less *stuff*, but they do not in any way shape or form have less love. I know that because I see it in the love they get from our family, friends, and community. 

So, what should you do for the Single Mom this Father's Day? Just love our kids the way you already do.